I am struggling to keep going, I just read someone else’s blog. And she mentioned how grateful she is to everyone that is putting this program together for us. I noticed how inconsiderate I have been. I am back in with a sense of appreciation to all you guys who I haven’t met yet. I just remembered that things get worse before they get better. “Upps opinion” i must recognized that a lot of things have improved one of the most important one is to not start what i am not going to finish. So i will finish this program and enjoy the process. Life keeps on trying to throw me off. I will beat my old blue print.
Couple nights ago i actually dreamed of blue rectangles, red circles and green triangles. Nothing but shapes. What is happening? I keep doing the exercises and I am adding enjoyment to everything I do, even washing dishes has become a pleasure. I don’t start any activity without an “I promise to…… and I always keep my promises” I am finding that is getting to be a joy to do things. I am more alert and happy. I also joined the gym, funny how my blue print ran that part of keeping me away with nonsense excuses like that I didn’t know how to use the machines and worried about how other think. I go in there now and I enjoy myself. It is awesome. I have 2 aha moments so far this week. The first one was about that it started to rain, i was going to the gym and a truck in a car lot had its windows open I was thinking about calling them, then I thought what if they say is non of my business or say thanks and criticize me for it or someone else will call them. So i didn’t call. I noticed how I invent things to stop me. The other is about I was worried how I was going to accomplish my DMP by just thinking about and I started to notice opportunities and abundance just driving down the street. I am not worried anymore.
I keep hearing Mark’s words. That when my old blueprint comes up, to kicks it’s ass. My foot hurts. I’m noticing more and more how afraid I am of making a mistake, of what people might say. It’s bringing me to tears as I am writing this how much I have held back. I have been receiving calls to participate in seminars and to do calls. I am all in. I am not coming up with excuses any more. I am saying YES I be happy to. I am focusing in the participation and not if I can actually make a difference. I am writing this regardless of my spelling or how deep or interesting it might be. I am participating in this journey with all you guys.
I started week 2 and I am writing this wondering if I am in the right site, if any body is checking that I am doing the assignments. I loved yesterday’s we binary I was able to put it to use immediately. Kari my wife wanted to go out to dinner at a particular restaurant and I wanted to go to another one because of the comvinience. I noticed how i was already attaching a feeling to an experience that hadn’t happen yet . I choose to feel different and we had a great time. That was really wonderful to be aware that we can choose to feel any which way we choose.